


Pay You In Kisses

by yanderekirklandchan



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Crack Fic, Established Relationship, Lots of dialogue, M/M, OOC characters, Phillip is so done, Phineas is annoying but adorable, gay circus dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 06:10:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13496398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yanderekirklandchan/pseuds/yanderekirklandchan
Summary: When Phineas wants something he'll do anything to get it... poor Phillip.*******A short, simple, mainly-dialogue crack fic that I wrote to up the number of Barlyle fics out.





	Pay You In Kisses

“No.”  
“Please!”  
“No!”  
“But Philliiipp, it’s an excellent idea!” Barnum said, flashing his boyfriend the best puppy dog eyes he could manage.

“I said no, Phin, it’s ridiculous! Elephants are bad enough, we can’t handle a hippopotamus.” Phillip argued, ever the voice of reason. Phineas was a showman, straight and through, but he did often have ambitions simply too high. Phillip was a person who could respect an ambitious idea but some things were too far.

“Come on, Phill, elephants are boring; hippopotamuses are all the range nowadays.”  
“So you’ll sell the elephants?”  
At that, Barnum looked horrified “No, of course not! I love my elephants!”  
Phillip sighed and rolled his eyes, deciding to appeal to the logic of the situation “We don’t have the space!”  
“I’ve already bought a new animal carriage.” Phillip sighed, Phineas seemed more convinced on this than he’d thought, this may be hard.

“They need water, for goodness sake.”  
“I can fit a pool inside the carriage.”  
“No you can’t.”  
“Are you doubting my abilities?” He said with a pout. Phillip averted his eyes, he was not letting those deadly puppy dog eyes win. Not again.  
“No, I’m not. I’m just saying that this is crazy!”  
“And if it’s crazy, live a little crazyyy!” Barnum started singing before a slap to the arm stopped him and caused him to pout again.

“Come on, Phillip! We can add a water act! That’ll double numbers!” Barnum argued, taking a new angle. Phillip sighed heavily “We simply cannot. And anyway, hippopotamuses are dangerous animals! They’ve killed people! I’ve heard they’ve even killed crocodiles.”  
“Dangerous animals are popular.”

A grin broke onto Phineas’ face, the grin that normally meant headaches for Phillip. “What?” He asked, feeling like he was signing his own death certificate. “I’ll pay you in kisses.”  
“Pardon?” Phillip said, blinking incredulously.  
“I’ll pay you in kisses!” He said, grinning contagiously.

“Phineas, kisses won’t change *kiss* change… *kiss* t-the fact that *kiss* the fact that we cannot *kiss* …cannot have a *kisskiss* the fact we cannot get a hipp*kiss* a hippopotamus!” Phillip finally managed to complete, despite Phineas’ kisses. Phillip was flushed from frustration and arousal. He was certain he had chosen the most annoying boyfriend in the city. He looked into those big, pleading eyes… maybe also the sweetest boyfriend in the city too. He’d only managed to form that thought before he was swept into another kiss, this one more intense and forceful.’  
*******  
Phillip lay in their shared bed, panting and naked and a new owner of a hippopotamus.


End file.
